Little Sins (the Comma Splice)

Writing errors in fiction can be minor irritants (in my former career in a pharmacy dispensary, they could be dangerous). If you fluff a few apostrophes or confuse the occasional word your reader’s engagement will be the victim. Make too many errors, and your story fails. You owe it to your story to look out for these little sins and keep your message clear.

Sin 2: The Comma Splice

As a proofreader, I spend a lot of my life thinking about commas. They appear when they are not wanted and then don’t turn up when you need them. They can be a terrible cause of confusion.

But there is one place where they most definitely should not be appearing.

What is a comma splice?

A comma splice is the use of a comma to join two independent clauses. Like this:

I have books stacked on the floor, I need some bookshelves.

My TBR pile is huge, I have a reading problem.

I should stop buying books, we’re running out of room in the house.

Using a comma like this makes the sentence meander across the page aimlessly. A comma isn’t strong enough to hold two clauses together. It also fails to define the relationship between the two clauses, losing clarity and meaning.

How to fix a comma splice

Fortunately, you can wash this sin away with some simple rewrites.

Perhaps you could cut the sentence neatly in two, by replacing the comma with a full stop (a period if you’re in the US):

I should stop buying books. We’re running out of room in the house.

The trouble is, this can make the relationship between the two sentences indistinct; do I need to stop buying books because our house is full of various stuff or is the house full because I keep buying more books? Or is it a bit of both?

For clauses with an obvious relationship, splitting them into separate sentences is the cleanest solution:

I have books stacked on the floor. I need some bookshelves.

If there is a close and logical relationship between the two clauses, then you could turn the comma into a semi-colon:

My TBR pile is huge; I have a reading problem.

Now you’re suggesting that the first clause is the result of the second (which I cannot deny).

You could also clear things up by adding a conjunction:

I should stop buying books because we’re running out of room in the house.

(I disapprove. This makes it all look like my fault and fails to mention our shared board game collection, which is also trying to stage a take-over).

Is there ever a reason to use a comma splice?

Although you should avoid a comma splice in formal writing, it can be used to create some interesting effects in more artistic forms of writing. If you connect several short clauses only with commas you quicken the pace, which can be effective if your heroine is in peril:

Ari threw herself backwards, the priest’s staff slashed before her face, her kick took his legs out from under him.

Or if their thoughts are racing:

She was lost, she was ever cursed, she was lost to the sun.

But with all these effects remember that your writing should always convey your meaning to the reader. If the reader trips over a comma splice and has to re-read a sentence to understand it, then it should be rewritten.